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Weird Christmas Gifts That Actually Exist (Santa Has Questions)
Socks Are Safe. These Are Not.
Every December, the same gifts make the rounds: socks, candles, a mug that says Coffee and a gift card with zero personality. This list is for people who want to see real shock on someone's face when the paper comes off. Below are 15 weird Christmas gifts that actually exist on Amazon, from a Santa who blows bubbles out of his rear end to beard ornaments that light up, candy canes that taste like mac and cheese and a T-rex that has replaced the reindeer. Pick one, wrap it with a straight face and wait for the family to ask what on earth is wrong with you.
Santa Blows Bubbles From the Wrong End
A bubble machine where Santa bends over, drops his pants and fills the room with bubbles and music.
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Santa bends over, drops his pants and fires a nonstop stream of bubbles straight from his backside while jingly music plays. A tiny barrel at his side holds the bubble mix, like a little keg for his big show. It is the least dignified Santa ever sold, and kids think it's genius. - Set it on the floor while everyone opens presents and watch the whole family lose it in under ten seconds. It's a hit at kids' parties, office holiday events and any gathering where grandma pretends not to laugh. Give it to the friend whose sense of humor never grew up.
Deck the Beard With Tiny Lights
Clip-on mini ornaments that turn any beard into a glowing little Christmas tree.
- Some men decorate the house, and some men decorate their face. These tiny clip-on baubles hook straight into the beard, and a few of them actually light up, so the chin glows like a festive little shrub. It's the only Christmas tree in the house that can also eat cookies.
- Wear them to the ugly sweater party, the office lunch or the family dinner and become the main decoration in the room. They're perfect for bearded dads, uncles and coworkers who already look a little like Santa. Pop a pack into the stocking of any man who refuses to shave.
Santa Swapped His Reindeer for a T-Rex
A giant glowing yard inflatable of Santa riding a dinosaur, because sleighs are so last century.
- Rudolph had a good run, but Santa has clearly upgraded to a roaring dinosaur with a big toothy grin. The whole thing inflates in minutes and glows at night, so the neighbors can admire Santa's new ride from the street. Nobody asked for this, and everybody needs it.
- Put it on the front lawn and become the house that drivers slow down to photograph. It's a great gift for dino-obsessed kids, dads who love yard decoration wars and families who find classic decorations boring. Expect your street's group chat to explode by Friday.
Candy Canes That Taste Like Mac and Cheese
Classic striped candy canes with a cheesy twist that nobody saw coming.
- They look like ordinary candy canes, right up until the first lick tastes like a bowl of mac and cheese. It's dinner and dessert in one very confusing stick, and every bite raises new questions. Peppermint fans will be outraged, and that is exactly the point of them.
- Hang them on the tree and wait for someone to grab one without reading the box first. They work great as stocking stuffers, white elephant swaps and dares at the family party. Give them to the picky eater who swears mac and cheese counts as its own food group.
The Ornament That Moons Your Guests
A laughing Santa ornament with his pants down and his rear end on full display.
- This jolly Santa is laughing so hard that he forgot to keep his pants up, and now his bare rear faces the whole room. It hangs on the tree like any other decoration, quietly waiting for guests to spot it. Once they see it, they can't unsee it all season.
- Hang it on the side of the tree that faces the couch and count how long it takes your in-laws to notice. It's a top pick for office Secret Santa, cheeky friends and anyone who decorates with a sense of humor. It will be the most photographed ornament in the house.
The Blobfish Wants a Spot on Your Tree
The world's saddest-looking fish, now hanging between your shiny baubles.
- The blobfish was once voted the ugliest animal on the planet, and now it has a spot on your Christmas tree. Its droopy face and gloomy frown make it look like it's been forced to sit through another family dinner. Somehow, it's also the cutest ornament you'll ever own.
- Hang it right next to the angel on top and enjoy the dramatic contrast all December. It's perfect for ocean nerds, biology teachers and anyone who feels a bit like a blobfish by the end of the year. Gift it to the friend whose holiday mood is always on low battery.
The Reindeer Who Toots Christmas Songs
A dancing toy reindeer that walks, wags its tail and toots its way through a holiday tune.
- Rudolph got the shiny nose, but this little reindeer got a much louder talent. Press the button and he waddles forward, wags his tail and toots along to a Christmas song like a gassy one-man band. It's the holiday spirit, delivered with an extra blast of air.
- Set him loose under the tree while the family opens presents and watch the kids collapse with laughter. He's great for grandkids, toddlers and grown-ups who still laugh at every fart joke. Give him to the person in the family who always blames the dog for everything.
Become an Instant Giant Santa
A blow-up Santa suit with a fan, beard and hat that turns anyone into a big bouncy Claus.
- Zip it up, switch on the little fan and watch yourself puff up into a huge round Santa in a few seconds. It comes with a beard and a hat, so the transformation is complete and slightly terrifying. You no longer need a whole plate of cookies to get the belly.
- Wear it to the office party, the neighborhood parade or a surprise visit to the kids on Christmas morning. It's perfect for dads, uncles and coworkers who love making a big entrance. Just remember to turn sideways every time you walk through a doorway.
Turn Your Car Into Rudolph
Antlers, a big round nose and a tail that turn any car into a reindeer on wheels.
- Clip the antlers onto the windows, attach the round nose to the front grille and hang the tail at the back. Suddenly your boring daily car looks like it pulls Santa's sleigh on weekends. Other drivers will smile at you, even when you take their parking spot.
- Drive it to work, the school run or the grocery store and become the most festive car in the parking lot. It's a great gift for new drivers, carpool parents and anyone who spends half of December stuck in traffic. Your car deserves to celebrate the season too.
A Real Lump of Coal for the Naughty List
A genuine chunk of coal in a gift bag, for the people who have truly earned it.
- Santa has been threatening kids with coal for generations, and now you get to deliver the punishment yourself. This is a real lump of coal, packed in a little drawstring bag with a card that sets up the joke. It might be the most honest gift you'll ever give.
- Slip it into the stocking of a sibling, a roommate or the coworker who keeps stealing your lunch. It's perfect for white elephant swaps and family gift exchanges full of troublemakers. Watch them laugh first and then quietly wonder whether you meant it.
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