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Funny Christmas Gifts for Him That He Won't Secretly Return
He Said He Doesn't Want Anything. He Lied.
Shopping for him at Christmas usually ends with another wallet, another tie or another pair of plain socks. This year, skip the boring stuff. We found 15 funny Christmas gifts for him that actually get a laugh: a meat advent calendar, a hat with a whole bass bursting out of it, giant Bigfoot slippers, golf balls that explode on the tee and a reindeer mankini for the bravest man you know. They are perfect for husbands, boyfriends, dads and brothers who swear they already have everything.
A Meat Advent Calendar for the Guy Who Skips Chocolate
Twenty-five days of meaty little surprises counting down to Christmas morning.
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Chocolate advent calendars are cute, but this one hides a different meat stick behind every single door. The box shows a cow in a Santa hat driving a station wagon with a tree tied to the roof, which explains nothing and everything. It is basically a beef countdown to Christmas. - Give it to him on December 1st and watch him guard it like a dragon guards its gold. It makes a great snack for football games, garage projects or pretending to help with the holiday cooking. A perfect gift for the husband, dad or boyfriend who thinks every meal should start with meat.
The Fish Hat That Looks Like He Caught Himself
A trucker cap with a whole bass sticking out of it, mouth open and ready to party.
- This cap has a realistic bass head bursting out of the front and its tail flapping out of the back. It looks like the fish swam straight through his head and decided to stay forever. Finally, every fisherman can prove he caught something big this year, even if it is only a hat.
- He can wear it to the lake, the tailgate, the family Christmas photo or the next boring video call at work. Strangers will point, kids will scream with joy and his fishing buddies will be very jealous. It is a perfect gift for the dad, uncle or husband who lives for weekends on the water.
Bigfoot Slippers for His Hairy Holiday Feet
Giant furry monster feet that turn every walk to the fridge into a legendary sighting.
- These slippers turn normal feet into huge, hairy and slightly terrifying monster feet with chunky toes. Every step makes him look like a cryptid who wandered into the living room looking for snacks. Nobody will believe the photos, and honestly that is the whole point of Bigfoot.
- They are perfect for lazy Christmas mornings, midnight trips to the fridge and opening presents in true style. Expect the dog to bark and the kids to shriek the first time he shuffles in wearing them. A great gift for the dad, husband or roommate who already walks around like a yeti.
The Six-Pack Apron for Instant Grill Abs
Skip the gym all year and still look ripped behind the barbecue.
- This apron prints a bulging bodybuilder torso right over his real belly, with a six-pack he never had to earn. The bottom half adds a pair of wild animal print briefs for a final touch of class. It is the fastest fitness transformation in history, and it only takes one quick knot.
- He can wear it to grill burgers in the backyard, carve the Christmas ham or flip pancakes on New Year's morning. Family photos will never be the same again, and the neighbors will definitely talk. A perfect gag gift for the husband, dad or brother who proudly calls himself the grill master.
Exploding Golf Balls for His Golf Buddies
They look totally normal right up until they burst into a big cloud on the very first swing.
- These golf balls look completely innocent sitting on the tee, just waiting for a mighty swing. The moment the club hits, the ball explodes into a huge puff of powder and pure confusion. It is the only golf shot guaranteed to get a bigger reaction than a real hole in one.
- Slip one into his buddy's bag before the weekend round and keep the camera ready on the first tee. They also make every trip to the driving range or a charity tournament far more memorable. A great Christmas gift for the golfer who has everything except a healthy sense of fear.
Tiny Grill Men Who Hold His Sausages
Four proud little guys who stand on the grill and hold the hot dogs for him.
- These little figures stand on the grill grate with their hands on their hips and a hot dog held right where you might expect. They look very proud of their work, and honestly, they should be. It is the most ridiculous barbecue helper ever invented, and nobody can stop laughing.
- Bring them out at the backyard cookout, the tailgate or a winter grill session in the snow. Guests will crowd around the grill just to take photos of the little guys hard at work. A perfect stocking stuffer for the dad, husband or neighbor who takes grilling way too seriously.
The Chess Set Where Every Capture Is a Shot
Classic chess with one small twist: lose a piece and you have to drink it.
- Every piece on this board is a tiny shot glass, with one army clear and the other one tinted. Take your opponent's knight and he has to drink it, which means the strategy gets worse with every move. It is the only chess game where losing your queen feels like a party.
- Set it up at the holiday party, in the man cave or at the cabin on New Year's Eve. Nobody remembers who won, but everybody remembers the game and the trash talk. A great gift for the brother, best friend or husband who thinks he is a grandmaster after one round.
A Shower Beer Holder for His Post-Work Ritual
A little suction holder that keeps a cold drink within reach while he showers.
- This clever little holder sticks to the shower wall and keeps a can or bottle right at hand level. Now he never has to choose between getting clean and enjoying a cold one at the same time. It is a tiny invention that solves a problem most men did not know they could solve.
- It is perfect after a long day at work, a freezing football game or shoveling snow off the driveway. He can also use it in the hot tub, at the camping shower or during a lazy Sunday bath. A great stocking stuffer for the husband, boyfriend or brother who swears by a shower beer.
Daddy's Sippy Cup for Grown-Up Drinks
A whiskey glass that finally admits what every dad already knows.
- Kids get sippy cups with lids and cartoon animals, and dad finally gets a sippy cup of his very own. This whiskey glass says Daddy's Sippy Cup in bold script, so nobody can claim he is not hydrating. It comes in a neat little box that makes it look like a serious trophy.
- He can pour a drink after the kids finally fall asleep on Christmas Eve and toast surviving the toy assembly. It is great for the man cave, the poker table or a quiet evening by the fire. A perfect gift for new dads, husbands and grandpas who have earned every single sip.
The Reindeer Mankini Nobody Asked For
A tiny reindeer costume with antlers, jingle bells and absolutely zero dignity.
- This is a mankini with a reindeer face on the front, complete with a round shiny nose, googly eyes and antlers running up the straps. Little bells jingle with every step, so everyone knows exactly where he is. It is the most festive thing a man can wear, and also the least.
- He can wear it over sweatpants at the ugly sweater party or at a frosty New Year's polar plunge. The gift exchange will stop dead the moment he unwraps it, and someone will cry laughing. A perfect gag gift for the husband, groom-to-be or friend who loves a big audience.
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